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Pudsey Bear

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Reply with quote  #1 
https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-cat-veterinary-clinic-signs/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Newsletter
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Kev [comp] 

Warning, might contain an opinion [nono]  

If you're not the lead dog, your view never changes.

Don't force it, use a bigger hammer. Semper ubi, Sub ubi. 

Link to self build pictures

Link to sort of blog on facts


http://tinyurl.com/nzyry9n

2002 Bessacarr E745 Ducato
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BurtSner

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Reply with quote  #2 
Wrong header details.

Cats do not have owners - they have staff 😂

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Burstner Nexxo T660 - family fun
1999 Suzuki Hayabusa
2000 Honda Blackbird
Molly - Chocolate Labrador 
only a biker understands why a dog hangs its head out of the window
Exeter, East Devon

Simon
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Kev Admin

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Reply with quote  #3 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurtSner
Wrong header details.

Cats do not have owners - they have staff 😂


Sorted 😃 😃

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AKA Pudsey Bear

Kev [comp]  😃
Warning, might contain an opinion [nono]  

If you're not the lead dog, your view never changes.

Don't force it, use a bigger hammer. Semper ubi, Sub ubi. 

Link to self build pictures 

Email to mhowners@yahoo.com

http://tinyurl.com/nzyry9n
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peejay

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Reply with quote  #4 

An old one but always makes me larf...


"How to give a cat a pill:

  1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

  2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

  3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

  4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

  5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

  6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

  8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.

  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

  12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

  13. Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

  14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

  15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

 

How to give a dog a pill:

  1. Wrap it in Bacon, job done".


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Woody

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Reply with quote  #5 
LOVE it Pete!

Our cat is impossible to give a pill to. We even have one of those squirty things, where you put the pill in the little plastic holder at the front of the water filled syringe...and squirt it. Even my sister in law, who is a vet, struggles to get it down her without stressing her too much. My niece, (also a vet), is the only person.....and has been since about the age of 9......who can get a pill down Maud at the first attempt. - None of us know why she is always so successful!

Both sister in law and niece reckon Maud is about the most awkward cat they have ever had to give a pill to!

Any news re your cat that went ‘walk about’ Nick?

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tugboat

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Reply with quote  #6 
Shame you can't stick it in the other end. Take the cat by surprise!
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The sign on my cabin door said 'Not enough bucks stop here'

Geoff.
Bessacarr E725, Honda Vision, Piaggio BV350.
South Devon.
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BurtSner

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Reply with quote  #7 

Personally I don’t understand the desire to own a cat, the ones I know just live to kill birds and wildlife whilst getting fed by half a dozen houses that believe it’s “their” cat.

Read a bit of this and avoid contact with them - get a dog!

https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/wounds-cat-bite-injuries-to-humans

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Burstner Nexxo T660 - family fun
1999 Suzuki Hayabusa
2000 Honda Blackbird
Molly - Chocolate Labrador 
only a biker understands why a dog hangs its head out of the window
Exeter, East Devon

Simon
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Woody

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Reply with quote  #8 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurtSner

Personally I don’t understand the desire to own a cat, the ones I know just live to kill birds and wildlife whilst getting fed by half a dozen houses that believe it’s “their” cat.

Read a bit of this and avoid contact with them - get a dog!

https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/wounds-cat-bite-injuries-to-humans


We never chose Maud Simon. She just turned up in the front garden as a small kitten almost 16 years ago.
She is a VERY smart cat!

Attached Images
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jpeg 2FF368F6-D3F1-41DB-9D99-52E501BF81CB.jpeg (378.16 KB, 4 views)


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tugboat

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Reply with quote  #9 
She looks a very contented cat, and certainly well-travelled.
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The sign on my cabin door said 'Not enough bucks stop here'

Geoff.
Bessacarr E725, Honda Vision, Piaggio BV350.
South Devon.
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SANDBAGSID

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Reply with quote  #10 
Wish I could sleep like that lol 😂
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Bracknell forest Berkshire. 

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Woody

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Reply with quote  #11 
Maud is a monster......but we love her! She almost ‘drew blood’ with a nice French lady who went to stroke her at Pet Passport Control in Calais two weeks ago. The night before she had given the Springer Spaniel in the van next to us at Sangatte a fright of its life. (This was a bold, working dog!). She has chased and terrorised a friend’s Jack Russell terrier so much it won’t come to our house any longer. The week before we went away she frightened my niece’s dog so much it ‘screamed’ and hid under the kitchen table! - I suppose after you have spent your life living with Rhodesian Ridgebacks, anything else seems a doddle!

The problem is she isn’t ‘people friendly either’, but having said that, when she wants to sit on your lap, or lie on top of you when you are in bed in the van, there is no shifting her!

We had never wanted a cat.......but we would not part with her! 😆🐈

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Pudsey Bear

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Really should get out more
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Reply with quote  #12 
You need to install a spell and grammar checker Lin, too funny by far that last post.
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Kev [comp] 

Warning, might contain an opinion [nono]  

If you're not the lead dog, your view never changes.

Don't force it, use a bigger hammer. Semper ubi, Sub ubi. 

Link to self build pictures

Link to sort of blog on facts


http://tinyurl.com/nzyry9n

2002 Bessacarr E745 Ducato
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roadrunner

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Reply with quote  #13 
A home is not a home without a cat. r&f.jpg  r&j.jpg 

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Woody

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Reply with quote  #14 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pudsey Bear
You need to install a spell and grammar checker Lin, too funny by far that last post.


Wrote that quickly before dashing out this morning Kev. I have ‘tidied it up’ now! 😁

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Woody

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Reply with quote  #15 
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner
A home is not a home without a cat. r&f.jpg  r&j.jpg 


Lovely photos Trevor. 😸

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Steptoe

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Reply with quote  #16 
One of our neighbour's cats reminding me that it's time to go over the road to feed them. (whilst they were away) IMG_20190707_170747.jpg 

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Woody

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Reply with quote  #17 
Glad you understand ‘your orders’ Ernie! 😁
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